- Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.
- I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.
- ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
- We have so much in common. You want to travel,I want you to go .
- ..says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
- WARNING: Objects in mirror are fatter than they appear.
- Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Insert coin to view my status message.
- Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
- One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
- When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
- I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
- sometimes, not remembering may be the better.
- X is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube… This could take a while.
- X is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house.
- What is fat, ginger and pregnant? Nothing..
- slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food.
- wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.
- X is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
- People say that love is in every corner……gosh! maybe i’m moving in circles..
- Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
- Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
- ║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95
- Dear Santa, let me explain…
- I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover.
- My wife said I’m too immature and if I don’t grow up it’s going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.
- Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married.
- Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
- Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions.
- ٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶
- _̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡
- if only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP
- ̿̿̿ ̿’ ̿’̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ this is a stick-up… give me ALL yo [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]!
- Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
- The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
- Boys are like baby diapers when they get to be filled with shit they are thrown to be replaced.
- i’ve yet to meet a woman who got pregnant from swallowing.
- Cut here —————–✄———————-
- Me and my wife are inseparable. Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart.
- I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
- People who write diet books live off the fat of the land.
- Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
- Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
- Best Friends Listen to what you dont say.
- Just wanted to let you know that you are my BFBFF… Best Facebook Friend Forever..
- So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.
- X thinks that Facebook is the compost heap for my brain.
- Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don’t know when.
- You miss 100 percent of the shots u never take.
- Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
- I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time.
- Sometimes? Late at night? I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
- I guess if you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless, huh?
- X thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!
- Alcohol does NOT make you fat…it makes you lean…against tables,chairs,walls, floors and ….Ugly people!!!
- what has two ears and cant hear? —————–.> GRANDPA
- I’m not a racer….But i can fly.
- press the star below and watch it glow
- ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ click star then up arrow to left to reveal status.
- Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
- X is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of “liking” my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I’m awesome..
- Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.
- I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.
- X just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last.
- X believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.
- ¡ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ǝsn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ
- Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
- oh I’m sorry! i didn’t realise you were giving me a dirty look…i just thought you were ugly like that all the time!!
- wants to merge MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.
- X says don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
- Is anyone going to put anything funny on here?????
- If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
- eat eat and eat….but don’t eat my brain.
- I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she’s been giving me lately!
- a guy knocked on my door today asking for a donation for the local primary school’s pool. I went away and came back with a cup of water….. Is that wrong?
- All men are born free and equal. If they go and get married, that’s their own fault.
- too cool for school.
- trying to think of clever things to say after inhaling from a helium balloon.
- the kid next door’s imaginary friend.
- –^v–^v–^v–^v-_____^v–^v–^v– For a second there, I was bored to death.
- definitely not watching what not to wear.
- forcing my dog to learn how to google.
- kissing a girl and may or may not be liking it.
- Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with “according to the prophecy”
- X is Loading ████████████ 99%
- Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
- U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one. Fish cant Drown.
- X went to the book store earlier to buy a ‘Where’s Wally’ book. When I got there, I couldn’t find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played.
- Hi, my name is Damimeve. The ‘mime’ is silent.
- I’ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming “CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!” when they have nightmares.
- In an interview, “I can multitask housework with facebook!”
- X is coloring on your wall! ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>
- never judges a book by its cover. She uses the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
- a day late and a dollar short.
- If somebody offers you a lifetime supply of candy and there is just one piece, don’t eat it: It’s probably poison.
- happy that you finally broke up with that slut. Now I can tell you VIA facebook update that I boinked her.
- seen pictures of you naked on the internet.
- remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.
- > $20 in my bank acct. Drinks on you home.
- 20/20 hearing!
Most funny Facebook Statuses!!!
How to easily and safely lock folders in Windows.
First select a folder you want to lock-
Let's say it is folder named 'movie' in D drive , D:\movie\
1)Create a text file and type the following in the same drive when the required folder is ,
in this case in D drive.
ren movie movie.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}
2)Save the file as lock.bat
3)Again create another text file and type
ren movie.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D} movie
4)Save it as key.bat
Now in D drive, you can see two batch files- 'lock' and 'key'.. when you double click lock, the movie folder will change to a control panel icon and when you try to access it , the control panel items would be shown instead of actual contents of the folder and when you double click key, the control panel will change to normal folder and you can acces the original files.
ren movie movie.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}
2)Save the file as lock.bat
3)Again create another text file and type
ren movie.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D} movie
4)Save it as key.bat
Now in D drive, you can see two batch files- 'lock' and 'key'.. when you double click lock, the movie folder will change to a control panel icon and when you try to access it , the control panel items would be shown instead of actual contents of the folder and when you double click key, the control panel will change to normal folder and you can acces the original files.
That's it. Have fun.
Very Funny Pictures.
Hooh! Ever played a 4D Tetris.
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| Watch Properly and Decide which way you gonna drive it. |
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| Huh! Good experiment but now how would you get out. |
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| I'd love to see football played this way. |
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| Must be an organic Cigaratte. |
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| Yeah that's it , you won the Gold Medal. |
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| You are already so beautiful... |
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| Cool..... |
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| Good shot... |
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| PS2 3D for cats... |
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| How about a TANK now... |
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| First Flight Test... |
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| I'd love to have it ... |
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| Some people are right about the location of Brain. |
Naughty SMS!!!
CONGRATS.Your phone has been installed with a new puzzle game. To play,throw your phone against the wall.Then assemble the pieces....
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A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
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Always start your day with a lot of... S E X S - SMILE E - ENERGY X - XCITEMENT so make S E X a daily habit, and youll always Be SUCSEXFUL! in LIFE.
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Always start your day with a lot of... S E X S - SMILE E - ENERGY X - XCITEMENT so make S E X a daily habit, and youll always Be SUCSEXFUL! in LIFE.
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Come here,take off urs pants and knickers, get on top of me, enjoy until u get satisfied, loving urs.....toilet!
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Lastnight I went to bed without you..cold,naked,thinking of you, missing your warmth, your soft touch against my skin. Where were you lastnight, my lovely pajamas.
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I really deeply wish that you are here with me in my room.on my bed & lights is off & we get under the cover together.. to show you my watch glow in the dark.
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He came at night, explored my body, got on top of me, touched me, he bit, sucked,
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Lastnight I went to bed without you..cold,naked,thinking of you, missing your warmth, your soft touch against my skin. Where were you lastnight, my lovely pajamas.
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I really deeply wish that you are here with me in my room.on my bed & lights is off & we get under the cover together.. to show you my watch glow in the dark.
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He came at night, explored my body, got on top of me, touched me, he bit, sucked,
swalowd, when he was satisfyed, he left, I was hurt, BLOODY... MOSQUITO !!!!
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Very good!
Intelligent Huh!
Tomorrow we'll learn A-B-C-D ...
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oT TnAW T2UL I
+THpinboop YA2
!..2mA3rb T33w2
! .. niH)A2 2'rU
Confused ? Read it in a mirror.. Now...
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What is the height of Flirting?
When your love letter starts with "TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN".
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Very good!
Intelligent Huh!
Tomorrow we'll learn A-B-C-D ...
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oT TnAW T2UL I
+THpinboop YA2
!..2mA3rb T33w2
! .. niH)A2 2'rU
Confused ? Read it in a mirror.. Now...
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What is the height of Flirting?
When your love letter starts with "TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN".
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!@#$$##$$$^%&())+)*(&*&^%$#@@@#$$%^^^&&*(__(*&%$ ##@#&*&?"}::_+|+_)*(^%$##$% Oh sorry if you could't understand it. In fact this was Jackie Chan sms that I forwarded.
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This is your mobile operator. We can see that you are too dumb to use your mobile so please put it on the floor and start jumping on it .
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This is your mobile operator. We can see that you are too dumb to use your mobile so please put it on the floor and start jumping on it .
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Stupid Acts!!
* she called me to get my phone number.
* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
*she tried to drown a fish.
*she thought a quarterback was a refund.
*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
*she tripped over a cordless phone.
*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
*she studied for a blood test.
*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home
* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
*she tried to drown a fish.
*she thought a quarterback was a refund.
*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
*she tripped over a cordless phone.
*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
*she studied for a blood test.
*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home
Ramdom funny...
I am wondering if you can do me a favor? Tell me if this rag smells like chloroform.
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What frustrates the sardarji when his wife delivers twins???
He wonders who is the father of the second child.
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When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask.
Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer: No, he's a miserable wife-beater, insensitive lout... it's just the money.
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At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter.
Stupid Question: Is the "blah, blah, blah" dish good
Answer: No, it's terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.
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You = cute
You = hot
You = sweet
You = intelligent
You = amazing
You = perfect
Me = liar.
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83 fish in a tank 27 drowned how many is left? . stop counting stupid fish cant drown!
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juorhtauo;tahr;otrbjkitrhjikt5hqijthqrji htrijpo5h6ijo56yjhpoji56hoipj56hpj65h sorry there was a spider on the keyboard!
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A SARDARJI is in the library , he bangs down a book and says :" Too boring, too many characters and no story".
LIBRARIAN says : Oh! You are the one who took the phone directory away??
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Computer Acronyms
BASIC - Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
ISDN - It Still Does Nothing
APPLE - Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
WWW - World Wide Wait
SCSI - System Can't See It
DOS - Defunct Operating System
IBM - I Blame Microsoft
CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 - Obsolete Soon, Too
MACINTOSH - Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
PENTIUM - Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
COBOL - Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
AMIGA - A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
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Beautiful pictures are developed from negatives in a dark room...So if you see darkness in your life be reassured that a beautiful picture is being prepared.
==============================================================
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What frustrates the sardarji when his wife delivers twins???
He wonders who is the father of the second child.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask.
Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer: No, he's a miserable wife-beater, insensitive lout... it's just the money.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter.
Stupid Question: Is the "blah, blah, blah" dish good
Answer: No, it's terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.
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A girl says to her boyfriend, "One kiss and I'll be yours forever."
The guy says 'thanks for the warning'
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------You = cute
You = hot
You = sweet
You = intelligent
You = amazing
You = perfect
Me = liar.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
83 fish in a tank 27 drowned how many is left? . stop counting stupid fish cant drown!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
juorhtauo;tahr;otrbjkitrhjikt5hqijthqrji htrijpo5h6ijo56yjhpoji56hoipj56hpj65h sorry there was a spider on the keyboard!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A SARDARJI is in the library , he bangs down a book and says :" Too boring, too many characters and no story".
LIBRARIAN says : Oh! You are the one who took the phone directory away??
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Computer Acronyms
BASIC - Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
ISDN - It Still Does Nothing
APPLE - Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
WWW - World Wide Wait
SCSI - System Can't See It
DOS - Defunct Operating System
IBM - I Blame Microsoft
CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 - Obsolete Soon, Too
MACINTOSH - Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
PENTIUM - Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
COBOL - Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
AMIGA - A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Beautiful pictures are developed from negatives in a dark room...So if you see darkness in your life be reassured that a beautiful picture is being prepared.
==============================================================
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