Best of Just for Laughs Gags( 2011) - Absolutely funny

Wonderful spider tattoo

Ever wonder what toilet signs look like in Scotland

Incredible portrait

Secret Behind Webcam

Real meaning of etc...

Some awesome pics

Marilyn Monroe Statue at Chicago Serving

as umbrella during rain

A rare scene

Exam Fun

 The Best Insulting line written below a clock in an 

 Examination hall,

"Time Will Pass.. Will You..?"

=======================================

 A student grabs a coin, Flips it in the air & says,

"Head, I go to sleep. Tail, I watch a movie. If it stands on the edge I’ll study." 

=======================================

Meaning of "etc.." while writing answers in exam

"End of Thinking Capacity" 

=======================================

80% of the Questions in final exam is based upon one lecture you missed and one chapter you didn't study.

====================================================================

The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from the birth, until you enter the exam hall.

==================================================================== 

During the exam

(-_-) ....(<_<)....(-_-) ....(>_>)....(-_-).....(<_<)

And when teacher looks at you,

 (v_v)

=====================================================================

Wise Quotes

The world suffers a lot  not because of the violence of bad people,
but because of silence of good people. 

-Napoleon

I am thankful to all those who said no to me.
It because of them , I did it myself. 

-Einstein

What you do while windows is loading!!

How did she reach this far?

A man is sitting at a bar and with a drink. Right as he is about to take a sip it a tall thug walks over and steals the drinks and chungs it down. The man sitting at the bar begins to cry heavily. The thug feels sorrys and says, "Now i cant stand to see a grown man cry, ill buy you another if it will make you feel beter." The man looks at him and say, "No its just that today has been the worst day of my life. My alarm clock went off late this morining so i was late to work. I tried to spead through traffic and crashed my car. By the time i finaly ot to work i was fired for being so late. I arrived home earlyier than usual and found my wife cheating on me with the gardner. I went to the bank to withdraw my money and leave my wife but my wife had beaten me to it. and finnaly i decided i was going to kill myself when some jackass walks over and just drinks my beer with my poison in it."

Funny but right answers

In which battle did Napoleon die?
His last battle.

Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom of the page.

River Nile flows in which state?
Liquid.

What is the main reason for divorce?
Marriage.

What is the main reason for failure?
Exams.

What can you never eat for breakfast?
Lunch & dinner.

What looks like half an apple?
The other half.

If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
It will simply become wet.

How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?
No problem, he sleeps at night.

How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.

If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?
Very large hands.

If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
No time at all, the wall is already built.

How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

Murder of English - Words don't always mean what they mean.

Fun with English

Much needed button on Facebook

Really needed for useless status and comments.

Discoveries and Inventions by Men & Women

• Men discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT, Women discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.

• Men discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION, Women discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.

• Men discovered GAMBLING and invented CARDS, Women discovered CARDS and invented WITCHERY.

• Men discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD, Women discovered FOOD and invented DIET.

• Men discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE, Women discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE.

• Men discovered TRADING and invented MONEY, Women discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.

Thereafter Men have discovered and invented a lot of things While Women STUCK to shopping.

Best and Funniest Jokes 2

Tom, Dick and Harry went to a party. After the party they returned to the hotel. The hotel was 600 stories high.

Unfortunately for them, the elevator was not working. They made a plan for the first 200 stories, Tom will crack jokes.

The second 200 stories Dick will tell a happy story and lastly Harry will tell a sad story.They then started up the steps

After 2 hours it was Harry's turn. He turned to the other two and said "Ok guys, here's my sad story. I forgot the keys downstairs.

============================================================

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.

They boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?”

They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

The youngest brother gasped for breath and replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time dude. God is missing and they think WE did it!"

===============================================================

How did Kanye West got his name?

Why do kids fail more these days?

How was the MGM Logo Lion shooted?

Most funny Facebook Statuses!!!

Most funny Facebook Statuses!!!

• Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.
• I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.
  
• ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
• We have so much in common. You want to travel,I want you to go .
• ..says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
• WARNING: Objects in mirror are fatter than they appear.
• Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
  
• Insert coin to view my status message.
  
• Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
• One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
• When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
• I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
• sometimes, not remembering may be the better.
• X is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube… This could take a while.
• X is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house.
• What is fat, ginger and pregnant? Nothing..
• slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food.
• wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.
• X is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
• People say that love is in every corner……gosh! maybe i’m moving in circles..
• Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
• Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
• ║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95
• Dear Santa, let me explain…
• I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover.
• My wife said I’m too immature and if I don’t grow up it’s going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.
• Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married.
• Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
• Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions.
• ٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶
• _̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡
• if only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP
• ̿̿̿ ̿’ ̿’̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ this is a stick-up… give me ALL yo [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]!
• Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
• The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
• Boys are like baby diapers when they get to be filled with shit they are thrown to be replaced.
• i’ve yet to meet a woman who got pregnant from swallowing.
• Cut here —————–✄———————-
• Me and my wife are inseparable. Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart.
• I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
• People who write diet books live off the fat of the land.
• Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
• Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
• Best Friends Listen to what you dont say.
• Just wanted to let you know that you are my BFBFF… Best Facebook Friend Forever..
• So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.
• X thinks that Facebook is the compost heap for my brain.
• Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don’t know when.
• You miss 100 percent of the shots u never take.
• Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
• I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time.
• Sometimes? Late at night? I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
• I guess if you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless, huh?
• X thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!
• Alcohol does NOT make you fat…it makes you lean…against tables,chairs,walls, floors and ….Ugly people!!!
• what has two ears and cant hear? —————–.> GRANDPA
• I’m not a racer….But i can fly.
• press the star below and watch it glow
• ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ click star then up arrow to left to reveal status.
• Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
• X is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of “liking” my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I’m awesome..
• Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.
• I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.
• X just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last.
• X believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.
• ¡ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ǝsn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ
• Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
• oh I’m sorry! i didn’t realise you were giving me a dirty look…i just thought you were ugly like that all the time!!
• wants to merge MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.
• X says don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
• Is anyone going to put anything funny on here?????
• If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
• eat eat and eat….but don’t eat my brain.
• I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she’s been giving me lately!
• a guy knocked on my door today asking for a donation for the local primary school’s pool. I went away and came back with a cup of water….. Is that wrong?
• All men are born free and equal. If they go and get married, that’s their own fault.
• too cool for school.
• trying to think of clever things to say after inhaling from a helium balloon.
• the kid next door’s imaginary friend.
• –^v–^v–^v–^v-_____^v–^v–^v– For a second there, I was bored to death.
• definitely not watching what not to wear.
• forcing my dog to learn how to google.
• kissing a girl and may or may not be liking it.
• Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with “according to the prophecy”
• X is Loading ████████████ 99%
• Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
• U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one. Fish cant Drown.
• X went to the book store earlier to buy a ‘Where’s Wally’ book. When I got there, I couldn’t find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played.
• Hi, my name is Damimeve. The ‘mime’ is silent.
• I’ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming “CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!” when they have nightmares.
• In an interview, “I can multitask housework with facebook!”
• X is coloring on your wall! ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>
• never judges a book by its cover. She uses the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
• a day late and a dollar short.
• If somebody offers you a lifetime supply of candy and there is just one piece, don’t eat it: It’s probably poison.
• happy that you finally broke up with that slut. Now I can tell you VIA facebook update that I boinked her.
• seen pictures of you naked on the internet.
• remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.
• > $20 in my bank acct. Drinks on you home.
• 20/20 hearing!

Smartest way to pick up girls and ask them out- The most-selected Pick-up Lines.

Did you lost your way? You must be up there angel!

• Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?

• I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.

• How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?

• Nice Shoes. Wanna fuck?

• Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

• Wanna come up for some sex and pizza?... Whats the matter, you dont like pizza?

   

  Aw, girl, I'm gonna have to put you on my "To Do" List!

• Are you from Mars? 'cause your ass is out of this world!

• Lets play house, you be the screandoor and I'll bang you all night long.

• The only time I'd kick you outta bed would be to fuck you on the floor!

• Aw, girl, I'm gonna have to put you on my "To Do" List!

• Save a horse -- ride a cowboy.

• I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.

• Nice legs what time do they open.

• How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?

• Why don't you get down on your knees and smile like a doughnut?

Anatomy of a Hippie

What love is

How teachers know you are texting !

Funniest facebook status and conversations

Hilariously Hidden Message

Credit Card on CD Player

Boys will be boys!

Insane post and Insane comment

How Lazy can you be?

Classroom reality

Funny Facebook status and comment

Absolutely funny...Just don't stop reading in the middle.

Can you read it?

Funny Toilet sign

Justin Bieber Fear

A girl walks into her house with her boyfriend. The girl says to her mom, “Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room.”

Mom says, “Ok honey, you kids have fun.”
 

When they are up there the Mom hears: “Oh..Baby baby baby oh!”
 

The mom walks to the door and ask, “What the hell is going on?”
 

The girl says, “Mom we're just having sex.” 

Mom says, “Oh thank god I thought you guys were listening to Justin Bieber.”

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Rank	Site	Category	Unique Visitors (users)	Reach	Page Views	Has Advertising

1	facebook.com	Social Networks	880,000,000	51.3%	1,000,000,000,000	Yes
2	youtube.com	Online Video	800,000,000	46.8%	100,000,000,000	Yes
3	yahoo.com	Web Portals	590,000,000	34.4%	77,000,000,000	Yes
4	live.com	Search Engines	490,000,000	28.7%	84,000,000,000	Yes
5	msn.com	Web Portals	440,000,000	25.8%	20,000,000,000	Yes
6	wikipedia.org	Dictionaries & Encyclopedias	410,000,000	23.7%	6,000,000,000	No
7	blogspot.com	Blogging Resources & Services	340,000,000	19.6%	4,900,000,000	Yes
8	baidu.com	Search Engines	300,000,000	17.5%	110,000,000,000	Yes
9	microsoft.com	Software	250,000,000	14.5%	2,500,000,000	Yes
10	qq.com	Web Portals	250,000,000	14.7%	39,000,000,000	Yes
11	bing.com	Search Engines	230,000,000	13.1%	9,500,000,000	Yes
12	ask.com	Search Engines	190,000,000	11.2%	2,000,000,000	Yes
13	adobe.com	Multimedia Software	160,000,000	9.2%	1,000,000,000	No
14	taobao.com	Classifieds	160,000,000	9.1%	11,000,000,000	Yes
15	twitter.com	Email & Messaging	160,000,000	9.3%	5,900,000,000	No
16	youku.com	Online Video	140,000,000	8.2%	4,000,000,000	Yes
17	soso.com	Search Engines	140,000,000	8.3%	3,600,000,000	Yes
18	wordpress.com	Blogging Resources & Services	130,000,000	7.5%	960,000,000	Yes
19	sohu.com	Web Portals	120,000,000	6.9%	5,800,000,000	Yes
20	hao123.com	Web Portals	120,000,000	6.8%	6,500,000,000	Yes
21	windows.com	Windows OS	110,000,000	6.3%	500,000,000	Yes
22	163.com	Web Portals	110,000,000	6.2%	5,300,000,000	Yes
23	tudou.com	Online Video	110,000,000	6.3%	2,700,000,000	Yes
24	amazon.com	Shopping Portals & Search Engines	110,000,000	6.2%	4,900,000,000	Yes
25	apple.com	Mac OS	98,000,000	5.7%	1,000,000,000	Yes
26	ebay.com	Auctions	88,000,000	5.1%	10,000,000,000	Yes
27	4399.com	Online Games	82,000,000	4.8%	7,000,000,000	Yes
28	yahoo.co.jp	Web Portals	81,000,000	4.7%	36,000,000,000	Yes
29	linkedin.com	Social Networks	80,000,000	4.7%	2,500,000,000	Yes
30	go.com	Web Portals	74,000,000	4.3%	3,300,000,000	Yes
31	tmall.com	Apparel	73,000,000	4.2%	1,300,000,000	Yes
32	paypal.com	Merchant Services & Payment Systems	73,000,000	4.2%	1,700,000,000	Yes
33	sogou.com	Search Engines	72,000,000	4.2%	2,100,000,000	Yes
34	ifeng.com	Web Portals	67,000,000	3.9%	5,400,000,000	Yes
35	aol.com	Web Portals	66,000,000	3.8%	5,400,000,000	Yes
36	xunlei.com	File Sharing & Hosting	66,000,000	3.8%	2,300,000,000	Yes
37	craigslist.org	Classifieds	66,000,000	3.8%	24,000,000,000	No
38	orkut.com	Social Networks	66,000,000	3.8%	4,000,000,000	No
39	56.com	Online Media	66,000,000	3.9%	960,000,000	Yes
40	orkut.com.br	Social Networks	62,000,000	3.6%	43,000,000,000	No
41	about.com	How-To‚ DIY & Expert Content	61,000,000	3.6%	550,000,000	Yes
42	skype.com	Voice & Video Chat	61,000,000	3.5%	540,000,000	Yes
43	7k7k.com	Casual Games	61,000,000	3.5%	4,800,000,000	Yes
44	dailymotion.com	Online Media	61,000,000	3.5%	870,000,000	Yes
45	flickr.com	Photo & Image Sharing	60,000,000	3.5%	1,700,000,000	Yes
46	pps.tv	Online Video	60,000,000	3.5%	500,000,000	Yes
47	qiyi.com	Movies	59,000,000	3.5%	1,400,000,000	Yes
48	bbc.co.uk	World News	56,000,000	3.2%	2,500,000,000	Yes
49	4shared.com	File Sharing & Hosting	56,000,000	3.2%	2,500,000,000	Yes
50	mozilla.com	Internet Clients & Browsers	55,000,000	3.2%	340,000,000	No
51	ku6.com	Online Media	51,000,000	2.9%	410,000,000	Yes
52	imdb.com	Movie Reference	50,000,000	2.9%	1,000,000,000	Yes
53	cnet.com	Consumer Electronics	50,000,000	2.9%	370,000,000	Yes
54	babylon.com	Translation Tools & Resources	50,000,000	2.9%	1,100,000,000	Yes
55	mywebsearch.com	Search Engines	50,000,000	2.9%	1,200,000,000	Yes
56	alibaba.com	Import & Export	50,000,000	2.9%	1,100,000,000	Yes
57	mail.ru	Email & Messaging	49,000,000	2.9%	17,000,000,000	Yes
58	uol.com.br	Web Portals	49,000,000	2.9%	5,800,000,000	Yes
59	badoo.com	Dating & Personals	46,000,000	2.7%	6,500,000,000	Yes
60	cnn.com	Broadcast & Network News	46,000,000	2.7%	1,300,000,000	Yes
61	myspace.com		46,000,000	2.7%	1,100,000,000	Yes
62	netflix.com	DVD & Video Rentals	46,000,000	2.7%	2,300,000,000	Yes
63	weather.com	Weather	45,000,000	2.6%	950,000,000	Yes
64	soku.com	Online Video	45,000,000	2.6%	790,000,000	Yes
65	weibo.com	Social Networks	42,000,000	2.4%	2,800,000,000	Yes
66	renren.com	Social Networks	42,000,000	2.4%	3,300,000,000	Yes
67	rakuten.co.jp	Shopping Portals & Search Engines	42,000,000	2.4%	4,400,000,000	Yes
68	17kuxun.com		42,000,000	2.4%	160,000,000	No
69	yandex.ru	Search Engines	41,000,000	2.4%	11,000,000,000	Yes
70	booking.com	Hotels & Accommodations	41,000,000	2.4%	790,000,000	Yes
71	ehow.com	How-To‚ DIY & Expert Content	41,000,000	2.4%	210,000,000	Yes
72	bankofamerica.com	Banking	41,000,000	2.4%	2,500,000,000	Yes
73	58.com	Classifieds	41,000,000	2.4%	1,200,000,000	Yes
74	zedo.com	Advertising & Marketing	41,000,000	2.4%	230,000,000	Yes
75	2345.com	Web Portals	41,000,000	2.4%	1,900,000,000	Yes
76	globo.com	Web Portals	38,000,000	2.2%	3,700,000,000	Yes
77	mapquest.com	Maps	38,000,000	2.2%	250,000,000	Yes
78	goo.ne.jp	Web Portals	38,000,000	2.2%	960,000,000	Yes
79	answers.com		38,000,000	2.2%	160,000,000	Yes
80	360.cn	Antivirus & Malware	37,000,000	2.2%	1,100,000,000	No
81	chase.com	Banking	37,000,000	2.2%	2,500,000,000	Yes
82	naver.com	Search Engines	37,000,000	2.2%	24,000,000,000	Yes
83	hp.com	Computer Hardware	37,000,000	2.1%	660,000,000	Yes
84	odnoklassniki.ru	Social Networks	37,000,000	2.2%	13,000,000,000	Yes
85	alipay.com	Merchant Services & Payment Systems	35,000,000	2%	970,000,000	Yes
86	huffingtonpost.com	News	35,000,000	2%	980,000,000	Yes
87	ameblo.jp	Blogging Resources & Services	35,000,000	2%	2,100,000,000	Yes
88	ganji.com	Shopping Portals & Search Engines	35,000,000	2%	970,000,000	Yes
89	alot.com	Web Apps & Online Tools	34,000,000	2%	410,000,000	Yes
90	scribd.com	Social Networks	34,000,000	2%	140,000,000	Yes
91	megaupload.com	File Sharing & Hosting	34,000,000	2%	500,000,000	Yes
92	tumblr.com	Online Journals & Personal Sites	34,000,000	2%	1,700,000,000	Yes
93	softonic.com	Software	34,000,000	2%	330,000,000	Yes
94	camzap.com	Webcams & Virtual Tours	34,000,000	2%	130,000,000	No
95	vkontakte.ru	Social Networks	34,000,000	2%	48,000,000,000	Yes
96	avg.com	Antivirus & Malware	34,000,000	2%	340,000,000	Yes
97	walmart.com	Mass Merchants & Department Stores	34,000,000	2%	870,000,000	Yes
98	pptv.com	TV Networks & Stations	32,000,000	1.8%	540,000,000	Yes
99	xinhuanet.com	News	31,000,000	1.8%	880,000,000	Yes
100	mediafire.com	File Sharing & Hosting	31,000,000	1.8%	370,000,000	Yes